Diverse

bad at being mean

I never know what to say or do. If I try to be mean, I usually end up being lame or weird.

First of all, when I’m supposed to be mean, when someone is asking for it, I just look puzzled. I’m taken by surprise every time. I’m like: “…are we doing this now?“, like that Seinfeld episode. That’s the best I can do. Look confused.

I’ve tried. I still try. But I can’t pass over the “why are you mean to me?” stage which basically ruins my whole “who’s the bitch now” routine.

15-20 years ago, I was the kid that cried a lot. The one that never fought back. The one that yelled “Mom!” when another kid would take my toys.

10 years ago I looked silly when trying to be mean. My best lines in a fight were: “Yeah? Well… you’re mean!” or “I hate you!” which kind of never intimidated or irritated anyone.

And now, it’s not that I can’t come up with better fighting lines, it’s just that I can’t bring myself to say them, I keep thinking: “But that’s so mean, I’m gonna hurt his/her feelings…“. So I have a funny look on my face (“What do I do now?! Damn, I hate these situations!!“) and sometimes say: “Why I oughtta…” or “I don’t know if I can ever forgive you“.
Or, looking angry, I say something incredibly weird like: “You wouldn’t even be able to take care of a… stuffed animal!!

I make people laugh when I try to be mean, I’m that lame. I’m telling you: I’m really, really bad at this. Arrgh…

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36 Comments

  • Reply
    Immortal
    26/02/2008 at 12:10 PM

    Heh, that cant be an art. Nar can you brag or be satisfied that you’re good at being ‘mean’.

    And “i hate you” is childish. Too childish* 🙂 And thats cute, not mean. I might smile though, not really laugh.

    Anyway, i found that theres nothing worse than a ugly look, so if someday you find yourself desperated enough (and, eventually, in front of a mirror) you can give that a try.

    I bet you’d laugh.

  • Reply
    Andrei Monciu
    26/02/2008 at 12:26 PM

    Nice a post in english…I know what you mean. And I think you shouldn’t be good at being mean, because there are a lot of mean people in the world and only a few good people. When someone tries to pick a fight with me I just ignore him/her or if they really push my buttons i tell them something with a sarcastic tone. I really like your style, and the way you look at things.

  • Reply
    andressa
    26/02/2008 at 12:29 PM

    immortal,
    i think that lamer than “i hate you” would be “why can’t we just get along?” but i never say it out loud. 😀

  • Reply
    Andrei Monciu
    26/02/2008 at 12:33 PM

    Hei I bet your cute and that’s why you can’t get mean, is this the case?

  • Reply
    andressa
    26/02/2008 at 12:36 PM

    I am not at liberty to say.

  • Reply
    Andrei Monciu
    26/02/2008 at 12:44 PM

    Are you being modest? or this is just a blog rule, that you can’t say stuff about you? Anyway…don’t try to be mean, nobody likes a girl that’s mean.
    PS I really enjoy your blog I added you to my blogroll, you made a fan 😀

  • Reply
    andressa
    26/02/2008 at 12:48 PM

    If that’s a rule, I broke it a long time ago. 🙂 I tell my secrets here. But it’s one thing to say what I want and when I want about me, and another to answer questions about me. I feel awkward in the latter situation…

  • Reply
    Alina
    26/02/2008 at 12:52 PM

    Maybe you can’t be mean when you want to. I’m sure you are mean sometimes without trying so hard.

  • Reply
    Andrei Monciu
    26/02/2008 at 12:52 PM

    Well you talk about yourself right? So it’s about time people ask about yourself. maybe that was a bit to personal, about your appearance and I apologize if that was the case. I was juts trying to bust a myth, cute girls get away with anything (because you said people laugh if you try to be bitchy, or was it a disrespectful laugh?)

  • Reply
    timidus essensis
    26/02/2008 at 12:53 PM

    if you havent been mean yet, it means you havent been frustrated enough for it to come naturally. thats a good thing, i would focus on that. why push for something that is only bad energy?
    make peace with the natural you. it is generally more appreciated anyway.

  • Reply
    andressa
    26/02/2008 at 12:56 PM

    Alina,
    I’m sure I have hurt people’s feelings in my life, but not intentionally. When I want to hurt people, “i hate you” is my best shot.

  • Reply
    andressa
    26/02/2008 at 12:57 PM

    Andrei,
    if you read this blog you’ll find out almost everything about me. You’ll see pictures, too.

  • Reply
    diamond
    26/02/2008 at 12:57 PM

    Am auzit o povestioara despre tine in care povestitorul iti facuse ceva foarte rautacios si reactia ta a fost: eu pe tine te urasc! Si eu am ras la povestioara aia, desi ma gandeam cu simpatie la tine si am sfarsit prin a spune “ce uraaat!” trebuie sa-ti mai exersezi skillurile de scorpie. 😉

  • Reply
    Andrei Monciu
    26/02/2008 at 12:58 PM

    Try to be ironic, works every time if you really want to be mean, but like timidus essensis said, you will be more appreciated if you will control your anger.

  • Reply
    Immortal
    26/02/2008 at 1:09 PM

    I can only subscribe with @timidus. And thats not about being ‘lame’. You can fight or you can refuse to fight – why would any of those two be ‘lame’?

    By one hand, if you cant (ever) be ‘mean’, you must be…well, oughta…naive?! No matter if there’s PR in it or not (from what i’ve read, i’ll say it isnt, but thats way too cute :D). Yeah, and irony its a hell of a weapon, but you must have the looks. Laughters and irony wont get along.

    On the other side… you actually said it. Winning a fight or simply closing a mouth can do wonders for your ego. And, as long as you wont get that daily, it should only make you stronger.

    I said.

  • Reply
    Immortal
    26/02/2008 at 1:11 PM

    (no edit fo’ me?! :()
    PS: do you have a trademark on “i hate you”? I think i started to link it, though i wonder if i’d ever get to use it 🙂

  • Reply
    Andrei Monciu
    26/02/2008 at 2:30 PM

    Explain please why the heck do you want to be mean in the first place? Why oh why?

  • Reply
    onionsoup
    26/02/2008 at 4:17 PM

    and the point is?
    oh, look at me, I am so good, little miss perfect, boo hoo:)

    lol

  • Reply
    Dan
    26/02/2008 at 4:35 PM

    Incercad sa aflu ce vrea Andressa sa spuna cu ‘mean’ am gasit un site mult mai haios decat acest boring post:
    http://www.meanmug.org/

    BTW, Andressa, n-o lua ca pe ceva personal, poate nu sunt eu acum in starea necesara intelegerii subtilitatilor limbii engleze.

  • Reply
    Andrei Monciu
    26/02/2008 at 5:18 PM

    I kinda find it weird that you say that you can’t be bad…I was thinking all day and I can’t figure it out…is it possible?

  • Reply
    andressa
    26/02/2008 at 5:22 PM

    Of course I can be mean, I’m just really bad at it, as I said. I can say mean thins to myself, but when it comes to expressing my anger… I suck.

    onionsoup,
    the point is that blogging sparkles ’cause you can write whatever you want without caring what others may think. 🙂

  • Reply
    Andrei Monciu
    26/02/2008 at 5:58 PM

    Touche, u can practice with people on the blog if you want, you can come to my blog to and call people stupid :D. You should practice practice practice

    PS de ce nu scrii mai multe articole pe zi? Ii pacat ca ii interesant 🙂

  • Reply
    andressa
    26/02/2008 at 7:04 PM

    ’cause i’m busy…

  • Reply
    melina
    26/02/2008 at 8:30 PM

    who ever said you need to be good at being good? some are, some just aren’t. at least, you know you’re not so you don’t have to try anymore 😛

  • Reply
    moldoveanu mihai
    26/02/2008 at 9:24 PM

    VA RUGAM SA ACCESATI URMATOAREA ADRESA:

    http://moldoveanumihai.blogspot.com/

    Veti regasi povestea socanta a unui om NEVINOVAT, condamnat totusi la 25 de ani inchisoare.

    Numele lui este MOLDOVEANU MIHAI si se afla in prezent in Penitenciarul de Maxima Siguranta Rahova. A executat deja 12 ani din pedeapsa.

    Credeti ca povestea lui se mai poate face auzita?

    Pentru orice idée, informatie, gand bun sau sugestie cu privire la modalitatea in care o persoana nevinovata, condamnata definitiv, ar mai putea fi pusa in libertate, va rugam sa il contactati, fie personal, la Pnt. Rahova, Sos. Alexandriei nr. 154, sector 5, Bucuresti, fie la urmatoarea adresa de e-mail: moldoveanu_libertate@yahoo.com.

  • Reply
    melina
    26/02/2008 at 10:16 PM

    *good at being mean.

  • Reply
    cosmin
    26/02/2008 at 11:58 PM

    it nice.. i like 🙂

  • Reply
    Ioa
    27/02/2008 at 12:55 AM

    It’s more frustrating for me, because I can be mean to people who don’t “deserve” it, and I am too good at that 🙁 But I have a hard time making my anger heard by the ones who actually did hurt me.
    I try, and then they ask me: “Are you really mad now?” And I go soft and say: “No, it’s ok.” And bite my tongue one more time.
    The idea with the angry look is a good one, if you can’t do it in words 😉

  • Reply
    Sir Alex Ice
    27/02/2008 at 7:28 AM

    Oh, shut up and stop bitching. You’re annoying at best, a very looong way from being mean.
    You’re a disgrace to all women who work very hard to make a man’s life a living hell every day. Oh, sorry, I forgot you were so pathetically hopeless that you don’t even have a man of your own.
    How hard is it to find one? I mean, are you even trying? Cause men are looking smart, intelligent and especially attractive women… and you are so not any of the above.

    That was the beginning of being mean 😉

  • Reply
    txirri
    27/02/2008 at 11:33 AM

    ce e cu limba engleza?…care e treaba.
    de ce nu scriem in romana

  • Reply
    candid
    27/02/2008 at 5:23 PM

    Txirii, care ii iritatia ta? Ca a mea tine de stupizenia oamenilor, a ta care o fi?

  • Reply
    Andrei Monciu
    27/02/2008 at 5:27 PM

    mai eu zic sa tinem isonu, daca ea vrut sa scrie in engleza m-am gandit sa raspund in engleza, daca stiu vorbi limba. And to be on topic, let’s change the topic 😛

  • Reply
    Lua
    28/02/2008 at 9:15 AM

    It’s incredible how pain can make you be mean sometimes. Then you snap yourself out of it but there is no telling when you do it again, or sometimes you feel you can’t control yourself.

    Not an excuse but so is life sometimes. Also, ‘not hurting intentionally’ must be one of the lamest around 🙂 But i am sure you know that as well!

  • Reply
    andressa
    28/02/2008 at 10:24 AM

    Lua, true. It is lame. But you know what I mean. The meanest things I’ve ever said were not told out of anger but out of stupidity.

  • Reply
    Lua
    29/02/2008 at 9:52 AM

    I do know what you mean.

    But i meant something beyond it. The things we say and do because we feel we are entitled to, because they make all the sense to us.

    It can come out of anger. It can come out of placated anger. It can come out of a clear mindset. It makes sense to someone.

    The problem is that it doesn’t always have to make sense to the person who is listening/ on the receiving end.

    Do you know what i mean?

  • Reply
    Lupu
    07/03/2008 at 6:28 PM

    oh, how cute…

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