The speech

Who hasn’t held the “Love me speech at least once in their life? If you haven’t, I pity you. I pity you for not being brave enough to fight for the one you love, for giving up your pride and putting everything on the table.

But I’m sure you have. At least once. I trust my readers! 🙂

I have held the speech just recently. And it did work, kind of. It worked because it made me feel a lot better, relieved and free. The person I loved didn’t do anything about it. But it’s ok. Or maybe it’s not ok, but it’s going to be. Soonish.

My next favorite speech is the “you don’t get to call me a whore” one. It’s when you tell the person judging you while you try to put your pieces back together. You tell that person to shove their attitude the same pipe they shoved your feelings.

The third one is the “do you think I like this?” speech. It means “it’s not easy for me either”. It’s nice. But it’s so not empowering because it’s not a matter of courage to tell the world it’s difficult to live with your own decisions. It’s hard for everybody, ok? You don’t get to be a hero just because you’re in the play.

I think there’s place for another speech in the dynamics of a relationship. “I don’t need this” – here it goes:

Screw you. Damn you. I loved you and told you that. I still do, damn it. But I’m tired of feeling guilty for believing you. I refuse to feel responsible for this mess.

I know you loved me. It was clear as daylight. I think you still do. I don’t regret trusting you. I only regret you were unworthy of my trust. And that you forgot to mention you felt that way for a number of persons. At the same time. Do they also know that, by the way? I am not a home wrecker. I was just foolish enough to believe you loved me and only me.

And you don’t get to say goodbye. You don’t get to tell me that you’ll stop calling me because I‘m not answering your calls. That’s stupid. And it’s not a matter of pride, I gave that away a long time ago. It’s a matter of respect. You have to give me that.

I realized yesterday that even though I still love you, I do admit that, as painful as it may be, there are persons in this world who can make me laugh and feel good about myself. And you haven’t been able to do that in a while.

I feel messed up and confused and so damaged that I ask myself if I deserve being treated this way. I don’t! And I know it now. I should’ve realized that sooner, it’s true. I deserve being offered everything, just as I gave you all I had. It’s not about quality only, it’s about quantity, too. And you gave me a little piece of yourself only and saved the rest for rainy days and other women. Well, you can keep your whole self. I don’t need tea-spoons of love. I want a whole bottle of it. So, screw you. I don’t need this. I can do much better.



  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 1:33 AM

    nice and courageous post! but what about the “you have to overcome your fears” speech after he tells you “i love you but i am afraid to invest in a relationship because i might get a job in a country where you don’t have the right to work and i am afraid i would ruin your life as i already did to someone else”.

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 1:38 AM

    🙂 funny! well, i guess that speech comes right before the “make up your mind” speech, the one that calls for courage to take responsibility for actions. and the next one is “i’m sick and tired of always feeling sick and tired” 🙂

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 2:09 AM


  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 2:22 AM

    You go, girl! 🙂

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 8:23 AM

    been there, done that 🙂

  • Reply
    Alina Popescu
    23/04/2007 at 10:21 AM

    Hmm, yeah, true, we all come to that speech at a certain time. I did, two times, actually. Though with two men would probably sound better. And yes, you do feel when someone loves you, no matter what bullshit comes out that person’s mouth. What is even harder is to have that speech when there’s no one else that you know of. But you guess there is someone, unimportant, but still, closer than you. And you feel the choice for the easier path has already been taken.

    And yeah, when you walk out and break someone’s heart, you don’t get to criticize anything. Especially to the “whore” speech 🙂

    Great post! Great I don’t need that speech. And yes, soonish, sometimes sooner that you’d hoped for 🙂

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 11:37 AM

    I like the “Ezekiel 25:17” speach. “The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men”…with the big finale, of-course 😉

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 11:58 AM

    young and restless:)

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 12:08 PM

    nu, grey’s anatomy! 😀

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 1:27 PM

    soap, soap, soap:)..

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 3:16 PM

    Yes, you do. You deserve much, much more.

    Thanks for the motivational post. In two weeks time I will give my first “love ME” speech. Now I’m preparing for it.

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 5:21 PM

    I did the “Love me” speech a while ago, although, from what I can understand, the circumstances were somewhat different. It was absolutely worth it. We will get married June 2. 😉 Anyway, don’t be afraid to fight for your love, but don’t be sorry to let go, either.
    Also, you go, girl!

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 6:16 PM

    Grey’s Anatomy,episodul 8 parca,discursul “pick me,love me”…..:D.to make things clear.:D.Post extrem de curajos ,extrem de optimist,extrem de frumooosss… got goose bumps all over.Ar fi super daca am putea totdeauna sa zicem ce simtim atat de fain si coerent,si mai ales sa facem asa cum zicem…nevertheless,fantastic post!

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 7:42 PM

    Whattabout “Hasta la (Windows) Vista, baby!”

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 8:36 PM

    There are so many ways to get left behind that you can only reconsider trusting someone.

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 8:40 PM

    i m more in a place where i think it’s better if i keep my more-than-usual boring self away from the one (s) i love and who may or may not (still) love me
    at least for a while
    so no speech

  • Reply
    23/04/2007 at 10:40 PM

    can’t express myself after reading this 🙂

  • Reply
    24/04/2007 at 12:16 AM

    Nice, nice!

    E o oarecare aura tragica in orice text in care autorul isi pune sufletul pe masa. Poate pentru ca respectivul “obiect” nu-i de aratat in public.

    Intr-un blog plin de prostioare, uite si un text bun!

    Cat despre subiect… totul trece. Odata invatata treaba asta, iti dai seama ca e cool sa suferi insa nu e decat trecator. Daca ar putea fi forever, atunci da… epici am fi cu totii. 🙂

  • Reply
    on love. off love « andreanum
    24/04/2007 at 1:22 PM

    […] 24th, 2007 · No Comments Citeam ieri un post misto al Andressei despre iubire in general si despre discursul love me, pick me in particoler (via Grey’s […]

  • Reply
    24/04/2007 at 2:43 PM

    girl, u are an inspiration, I tell you. 10x. Keep it up and rolling!

  • Reply
    24/04/2007 at 10:21 PM

    thank you. Funny how I’ve been told that after writing posts during emotional distress. I should suffer more, it makes me creative! 🙂

  • Reply
    Andressa » Funny day
    25/04/2007 at 5:10 PM

    […] But then again, you don’t want to hear the “you don’t get to call me whore” speech, do you? Then, shut up. Thank […]

  • Reply
    Catastif » intre timp
    28/04/2007 at 9:36 AM

    […] de funny si accesibil si asta e bine pentru oamenii normali. “Love me!” – cum ar spune Andressa. (Poti sa te adresezi oamenilor si pe tonul ei, era o fata ok pe vremea cand scriam postul […]

  • Reply
    let's talk about.....faith « so many things to say,so little time to do it
    15/05/2007 at 12:14 PM

    […] iei totul de la capat ca si cum nu s-ar fi intamplat nimic..? Sustin intru totul initiativele de “pick me, love me” [cu adaptarile de rigoare in functie de situatia pentru care lupti], oricat de aiurea si de lame […]

  • Leave a Reply