This is for all the jerks out there

alt mihai

I am a jerk, though I never did what you wrote. I would write something about women, yet I’ll be considered women-hater. I’m pretty sick of women considering themselves the center of the univers (not talking about you at all): my opinion never counts, what I like sucks, my life is fuckin’ easy etc.

Actually, I think there’s a ballance, you just have to wait/search for what you want. And let some be jerks, otherwise you wouldn’t have what to choose from.

Geez, I’m really a jerk 😛

ago

aoleu!

luca

first, i’m sorry. daca iti amintesti, la asta ma refeream atunci cand te-am enervat nezicandu-ti ceva legat de o pers pe care o adorai dupa doar 2 zile. alegerile tale, lumea in care te invarti. and second of all… citesc publicatii specializate. asta nu imi place, daca te-ai prins: generalistul nu ma mai atrage de mult. ca sa te citez “i’m fucked up”. sau poate somebody else is a jurk addicted

alex

Later comment for messa : vrei un om sau un catel? Caci limitele le trasezi unui animal pe care-l dresezi(e.g. pisica trebuie invatata sa faca la nisip). Limitele se discuta in cel mai bun caz… iar daca ai nevoie de trasat, cazi in “pacatul numarul 2 al Jerkului”, being bossy. You are supposed to steer together through the storm, not reserve flotation devices, for God’s sake!

zoso

inghite?

Oana

Ma cam speriasem citind ce scrisese Andressa. Ma temeam ca viitorul este sumbru si o sa ajungem sa traim intr-o lume absolut monotona si cenusie, in care toata lumea se poarta civilizat cu toata lumea, in care ne spalam si ne schimbam des tricourile si ciorapii, in care nu profitam de momentul in care cineva are nevoie sa discute despre problemele sale ca sa ii mai dam niste bocanci in gura.
Din fericire mai exista barbati adevarati. Care muta TOATA mobila, nu doar o parte din ea.

monsoux

I love you 🙂 these things needed to be said. Guys, start writing down. Lessons learnt, homework done? OK, then.

Ludas

Girls admit it you are naturally atracted to jerks. I know this from from many girls. You don’t want a partner, you want someone who can dominate you.
I’m one of those who runned to the girl if she had any problems, who never asked her to deliver pizza. Who treated her as an equal. But i was dumped for a jerk. Because jerks have something that we, the Mr. Nice Guy types do not have. So …No More Mr. Nice Guy
You only have what you wanted. What you deserve.

diamond

perfect de-acord cu punctul 5, dar pt 1 si 2 as zice mai degraba ca e mult mai bine sa te descarci decat sa tii totul in tine sa zambesti si sa spui ca o sa aduci ketchup-ul ala. merita sa candidezi la premiul pentru ‘miss perfection 2006’? 3: unui barbat ii ia mult timp sa se educe in a nu mai ‘admira’ alte femei, mai ales daca e in natura lui sa se comporte asa. 4: no comment 🙂 Dar ce stiu eu, sunt cu vreo 3-4 ani (?) mai mica decat tine 🙂

Azaziel

Practical guide on “How to spot a BITCHES”

I could have written these lines in Romanian but I must admit – by using common English language I tend to seem much sexier than I really am. And this is not what everybody wants? To be someone else, someone better? I think so.

You can bet that love doesn’t suck. Is just that there are moments when you feel your entire inner world collapsing and not having contact points with reality anymore. It’s even worst if all she could say before dumping you was “it’s the way it has to be”, or “if we were meant for each-other this would have happened”. This is bullshit and you know it. Everything would have been different if she could only have been able to offer you a fair explanation – that much. But no, she didn’t. And the reason for this is, well, she is a BITCH. So, not to worry, it’s ok to cry out loud, but only for a period. Don’t look too much into the dark side of things because it’s possible to be looked back. And this is not good at all. Don’t believe me, believe Mr. Bacon, he is the one who said that. And by the way, if anyone is trying to tell to you that mourning is wrong, send him/her to hell. She has her balls done recently and now they are bigger. Ups, I said she? Sorry… 🙂

Not to worry, though. Here is a very practical guide how to spot and keep distance from BITCHES. Now, remember, this species is a very present one and it succeeded during the last few years to find new ways of disguising among us. Just follow my leads and you will be able, eventually, to live a BITCH-free life. But, remember, not all the women are BITCHES. I have a mother and a sister that cannot be put in this category, under any circumstances. So, be careful.

1. The only purpose a car has is to walk you from point A to point B. That was the original reason the car was invented for back in 1900s. I know that lately a certain mainstream and widespread current of opinion was launched, like a car (which, remember, is a mean of transportation, nothing else) can give you some social status. This is not true. In fact, this is exactly what a BITCH would say regarding to this issue. So, a BITCH is a person that has suddenly forgot to use the following means of transportation: cabs, public transport, walking (yes, you heard me). For instance, the woman I’ve been in love with some time ago had developed a powerful carsickness because I had a ’92 Dacia car (back then it was the only brand I could afford).

2. The vacancies are about having fun and maximum of relaxation with the ones you love. An exotic place to go in vacancy cannot give also social status. Of course, you can have much fun in the Barbados Islands than in Costinesti-Village, but you got my point. A BITCH would use this opportunity to remind you once again how low is your salary and how poor are your negotiation skills, because you were not able to obtain a better deal with your employer. Or how loser you are because you didn’t find a better job with bigger bonuses.

3. If your car (Dacia brand, remember?) has damaged just on your way to the vacancy destination, a BITCH will also use this opportunity to make you feel real bad and quite a small person. She cannot, under any circumstances, be supportive for a change, or appreciate your efforts to find someone qualified to make the repairs at 5 AM.

4. When she is telling you that this Saturday she wants to go in a club with some friends, you must understand that she wants to go in a club with some guys from work. You must not, under any circumstances, say something like – “Honey, maybe I can go too. This week we’ve been together only for a few hours on Wednesday evening…” This will cause severe repercussions to your ears. A BITCH wants to have as much fun as she cans, no matter with whom. She is too important to even think that her actions might hurt someone’s feelings.

5. Do not propose her for a walk in a public park. Do not try to walk her home from work (unless you drive a BMW 645 series). This is too embarrassing for her because she is a BITCH. What her colleagues would say about this?

6. Do not try to be her friend. It’s like in marketing; once you have a positioning it’s very difficult to change it. Once her friend, always you’ll be her friend. Because she is a BITCH. And bitches don’t think at all. The present moment is too important for them. Don’t try to be supportive. Don’t try to be by her side and, most of all; don’t try to comfort her when she gets rejected at job interviews or in other crap situations. A BITCH would think that you want to get laid (btw, if this is true, than you’re a moron and you shouldn’t read this stuff at all).

7. Do not say to a BITCH that she is beautiful, because she is not. She might have a pretty face and some perfect teeth, but this is it. If you say to her that she is beautiful, she would probably think that you want to get laid again (and again; if this is true, you shouldn’t be reading this, there are better ways to entertain yourself).

8. A BITCH will use every single situation and context in order to take advantage of your feelings. She will ask you to help her with some crap stuff from work, she will borrow money from you in order to pay for her classes (she will even ask you to prepare her final exam), and the most important and painful – she will discuss all this with her best friend (which is also a BITCH).

9. Do not try to cheer her up when she is down. Do not say, “Yes, honey, I know, this is a delicate situation and a pretty difficult moment but, look, you still have me. Everything will be ok, I’m there for you. Let’s find a solution together.” Nothing will be ok, because she is a BITCH. And she will say for sure something like, “Yes, I have you, but I don’t have my own car to drive and I also don’t have my own centered-town place to live” (and this is true, my God; you know this is true).

10. A BITCH will never fall in love for someone like you. If you’re on this site and read this blog and these lines, you probably don’t own an BMW, you don’t clubbing and you are probably preparing your vacancy in Vama Veche. A person like her is not capable to love someone like you. And this is for the best. One more tip; in these situations you should have more trust in what other people say. It’s true what they say – love is actually blind.

Anyway, there is no point in being nice, polite or smart (if you do so, you could easily pass as a winter cherry). You have to be a JERK in order to survive. When you pass 30 year-old limits, the only women available for you are the BITCHES. All the good girls are probably happily married with children. This is how life it works.

weweritza

Tre sa dai Cezarului ce e al Cezarului. In general pare un pik cam patetik pt un baiat sa scrie asa ceva(e ca si cum ar admite ca si-a luat-o serios in bot, o data cel putin in viata), dar totusi..baiatul a sintetizat ok si ca sa asigure balanta a mai bagat 5 puncte in plus(chiar daca a folosit prea multe motive recurente- fii mai iventiv!)..dar toate cu toate fain. E ipocrit ca si femeie, cand sustii ca exista jerks, sa nu admiti ca exista bitches..i know them..they truly do exist, walking all around, with just the tiny tip of their nose stiffed in the clowds. Am prieteni care sunt ingroziti de existenta lor: de capcanele lor parfumate, de genele lor misterioase si de puloverele lor de imitatie de angora..it’s a fucked up life.dar ASTEA , ca shi AIA, exista!

alex

Si uite cum Andressa schimba atentia de la remarca lui Azaziel… (cu o miiiiiiiiiiiiiica doza de flirt ca desert:D, care bine-nteles ca poate fi negata vehement, ca nu e decat o remarca nevinovata, right? C’mon…)

andressa

People who treat others like dirt exist, regardless of their sex, as I said. Call them jerks or bitches, it’s your choice.

Alex, if that’s flirting, we’re all whores. Get a grip.

Bobby, since when being a misoginist means beating up women? I didn’t say anything about physical violence. I was talking about not treating your partener with respect.

Zooliat, you’re missing the point. The pizza was not the point, making an effort was. Smiling is in the same category, i.e. being nice with to your loved one. Rule no. 1: do not confuse the term girlfriend / boyfriend with “pizza delivery boy”.

People, this isn’t a sex-war, we’re talking about the people who are selfish and incapable of showing appreciation – these people do not deserve our excuses. They have none.

Dumi

Andressa,

Te citesc de mult, nu mai tin minte cum am descoperit blogul tau — probabil a fost o chestie de genul click-click-click 😉
Unele chestii pe care le-ai scris au aratat o tona de talent si o personalitate probabil misto. Insa postul cu non-jerk-u’ lasa mult de dorit, sincer. Am avut senzatia clara ca citesc “Cosmo” uitat de prietena mea in baie sau asa ceva. While dude, you can do so much better than that.

1) pizza example. Da, ai facut un efort. Da, ai primit mai putin decat meritai. Dar orgoliul, ah, orgoliul, de ce trebuit sa fie sky-high? “I smiled and said I was gonna bring some ketchup. I never came back”, spuse ea, aruncandu-si c-un gest nervos o suvita rebela pe spate. Ha, i-am tras-o! Si ce-ai obtinut? Crezi c-a inteles ceva? Lasa-ma sa ma indoresc. Esti mai fericita acum? Idem.

2) “Most probably, you’re confident ’cause you’re not doing anything and consequently you never screw up” (mi-e lene sa dau page up prea des si citez din memorie, banuiesc ca nu foarte accurate). Err, where did this assumption come from? De ce esti cu tipu’ ala in the first place, daca presupui ca singuru’ motiv pentru care nu greseste e ca nu munceste? Plus, dai din belsug c-un feminist spin peste tot paragraful, citezi probabil cuvintele lui, dar cu tonul tau. Te-ai gandit ca poate chiar gresisei pe bune la job? Dar vai, vorba aluia cu A seis-ul, am uitat, esti femeie, cand gresesti, imediat trebuie sa fii alintata. Asta a sunat misogin cu frisca pe deasupra, da’ cam asa ai scris-o. N-ai cerut suport, ai cerut mangaiere si alintare, nu ajutor concret. “Mangaie-ma pe cap si spune-mi ca va fi totu’ bine”.

3) Wow, I can smell frustration from miles away. Ai trei variante: A) te apuci si spui “mmm i’d so do that guy over there, just look at the bulge in those sexy jeans, dammit I’m so wet already”, si jerk-u’ tau va pricepe mesaju’. Varianta asta e un pic cam copilaroasa. Sau B), grow up, get some confidence, ce crezi c-o sa si-o traga jerk-u’ cu Carmen Electra? (WRF is so great ’bout her BTW…). Sau for that matter, tu cu Brad Pitt? 🙂 Varianta C), daca jerk-u’ iti serveste o bucata d-asta cam la 10 minute, spune-i politicos sa repete clasele 7-10, cand e okay sa salivezi dupa every fine piece of ass you see. Anyway, don’t just walk, arati ca n-ai nici confidence in yourself, nici nu vrei sa faci vreun compromis si sa discuti problema, nici n-aveai ce cauta langa jerk-u’ tau in the first place.

4) Again and again: did you *address the problem*? Sau mai mult te-ai preocupat de cum s-o faci sa sune catchy, Cosmo-style? (mda azi am ceva cu Cosmo)

5) Nimeni nu vrea sa fie “nursed”. Unless your jerk has not really grown up. Am vaga impresia ca toata frustrarea asta vine de la o relatie in care ai investit mult, si degeaba. Tipu’ pare un baietel imatur, care fluiera dupa mme. Electra cand o vede pe sticla, plange ca un copchilas rasfatat imediat ce n-ai sunat when you said you would, are greturi daca pizza a venit fara ketchup si etc. Iar tu pari a fi inghitit multe, *fara sa fi adresat problemele in vreun fel*, iar acu’ a venit momentu’ sa rant-uiesti nitel 😉 Doar ca nu prea rezolvi nimic… si pari sa meriti mult mai mult.

Uff, ce inseamna sa n-ai chef de lucru dimineata la 8am… te apuci si comentezi pe blogu’ Andressei 😉 Sunt curios daca vei citi acest al N-lea comment la postu’ tau de mare succes 😉

–Dumi

zooliat

dumi a fost mai bland in explicatii dar practic spune acelasi lucru pe care l-am spus si eu. Inainte de orice investitie se face un “studiu de fezabilitate” 😉 Daca vei continua investitia si da cu minus e foarte probabil ca tu sa fii problema. E complicat sa gasesti esenta cand trebuie sa sapi (sau sa fii “sapata”) dincolo de plasticul trendy. Less cosmo, more truth. Succes.

emi

my bad. n-am apucat sa citesc toate comentariile. Acum le-am citit. One more thing: cu toate ca sunt de acord cu “pasii” propusi de tine, cred ca ai omis unul esential, pe care in general oamenii, “regardless of their sex”, il omit: BE HONEST. Subject closed. Again.

serg

Dragut articolul. Nu pot insa sa nu observ asemanarea dintre posturile insirate aici si un forum. 🙂

Ciudi

CacMaca a pus punctul pe I. Sunt atat de multe alte lucruri interesante in lumea asta insa unii se cantoneaza in acelasi gen de probleme…In principiu este cunoscut faptul ca barbatii sunt niste animale ce nu-si schimba modul de viata, iar femeile isi schmba destul de des infatisarea, habitatul, logica, ideile…

parai

Barbati adevarati plang … toata lumea plange mai ales cand nu se gasesc in nici una din regulile de jerk`s enumerate mai sus … si dak eu nu fac nimic din pasi aia ai tai ? de ce sunt jerk si nu numai de ce ma lasat prietena ?

alex

Ha ha ha! legat de step 1 ala al tau:
1. Do not confuse the concept “girlfriend” with “pizza delivery boy” or “cleaning lady”.

Mi se pare al naibii de amuzant ca ai fost tratata ca si cum ar fi fost invers rolurile: tu baiatul si ea fata in timpul menstruatiei. Suuupertare! Mai fac si eu jocul asta cateodata, incep cu reprosuri total incoerente, exact ca o femeie si observ reactia fetei la cum e sa fii batut cu propriile arme.

Deci tu ai plecat fara sa zici nimic… hmm, pai daca toti baietii ar face asta, inseamna ca fetele ar ramane singure. Reciteste inlocuind boyfriend cu girlfriend, he cu she etc.. 😀

Oricum, a fost cam… nesimtit, ceea ce e valabil si pt fetele care fac asta…

mi-a placut si articolul ala agresivitatea e noul romantism sau ce faci, papusa, hai la mine sa vedem un film pe calculator. Sunt perfect de acord cu ce spui, e ca un deget de tzaran pe … romantismul din ziua de azi.