This is for all the jerks out there

How to be a NONjerk in five easy steps.

I noticed that when I’m really pissed off, I tend to speak in Englsh. I’ve been brainwashed by the American culture and I start speaking like Carrie Bradshaw form time to time…

Love doesn’t suck. If you’re a guy and you’re crying your pants off ’cause she left you or you’ve been drinking since Tuesday ’cause she doesn’t want to see you anymore, chances are YOU’RE A JERK. Sure, she could have fallen in love with somebody else or her parents made her marry some rich dude – being realistic now – you probablly have been a total jerk and she’s finally realised it and dumped you.

Or maybe you’re just reading this for fun and you have no clue you’re a jerk.. keep reading then! You might be surprised to see how a woman’s mind works,… jerk! 😛

So here it goes: How to be a NONjerk in 5 easy steps.

1. Do not confuse the concept “girlfriend” with “pizza delivery boy” or “cleaning lady”.

Two years ago, on a Saturday morning, my boyfriend called. He had to work during the weekend and he was hungry at 8 o’clock… So I woke up, went to his favourite pizza place in town, got his favourite kind of pizza [no-mashrooms-etc kind of pizza] and took it to his office early in the morning. His reaction? “I told you I was hungry, why did it take so long??” and “No ketchup?? You forgot the ketchup?? You know I can’t eat my pizza without ketchup! You can’t do anything right!”
I smiled and said I was going to get some ketchup. I never came back.

Everytime she makes an effort to make you happy, DO NOT BE A JERK. Say something nice, be grateful. Most people aren’t that giving, so show some appreciation. Or she’ll walk away.

2. Be a friend. Don’t be bossy or judgemental.

I made a mistake at the office one day and told my boyfriend about it. I was afraid I would have to pay damages from my salary, I was terrified. He told me I was lucky I didn’t get fired and that he would have punished me if he were my boss. Thank you, Jesus, please show me how to be perfect like you! Give me a break, jerk!!

Plenty of people had already told me that, I don’t need my boyfriend telling me how clumsy I am, as well. I need him to tell me it’s going to be fine and ask me if he can help me straighten things up.

Whenever she complains about having a bad day, about being afraid of something – listen to her, cheer her up, give her a piece of advice. Don’t make her feel worse, for God’s sake! Don’t tell her she’s no good and that she can’t do anything right. Most probably, you’re confident because you’re not doing anything and that’s how you never mess up. So shove it, jerk!

3. Do not admire other ladies.

Unless you’re Adrien Brody [a.k.a. a perfect guy], do not point out that there are women with gorgeous bodies everywhere. Women are human beings too – they want to copulate as much as you do. We just keep it to ourselves most of the times. Why? Just imagine what it would be like if your girlfriend would share with you her fantasies about strangers: “Uh, I’d definelty do him, just look at that cute ass and that perfect smile, I’d dive him into chocolate and than lick his…” That would be a turn on up to a point, a point where it would start being annoying.

We have eyes, we know Carmen Electra is more than do-able, but we don’t want to hear that everytime she’s on TV. We also know that a certain neighbour in you building is sexy; we don’t need a reminder of that every second of the day. “Here’s a newsflash, honey: she would never date you – you are not exactly Brad Pitt and you’re a JERK.” – And she’ll walk away.

4. Don’t be a monkey.

That sounds like a metaphor, doesn’t it? Well it’s not. We all have the laziness gene in us, but some learn to fight it. So, if you know your girlfriend is coming over, WASH UP. And for God’s sake, clean up a little! I’m no Clean-Queen, but seeing dirty socks and underpants on the floor… Open those windows, they’re not nailed down. Oh, and the Golden Rule: you only wear a T-shirt once – than you put it in the laundry basket. It’s that simple.

5. You are not the center of the universe.

This is a common trait of jerks: thinking the world revolves around them. “You didn’t call? What do you mean you had something important to do??” – if she ever forgets to call when she said she would. Sure, you could’ve picked up the phone and called her yourself, but why would you do that, when you can just rub it in – “I can’t believe you forgot about me… I guess I’m not as important as your job/friends/parents”.

Newsflash: she has a life. She has friends, hobbies, a job [or several], she has some other things to do besides nursing you. Putting her in the position of choosing between everything else and you, as if being your girlfriend would be incompatible with having a life equals YOU ARE A JERK. She’ll walk.

Some people give men a bad name. Dixit.

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  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 3:28 PM

    How to be a NONjerk in five easy steps…

    Sfaturi pentru barbatii care se intreaba de ce ii parasesc prietenele, de la Andreea….

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 3:57 PM

    The guy in the first 2 examples was / is the same ? Pretty bad.

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 4:04 PM

    No, it’s different guys. There are plenty of jerks in the world… And they don’t even realise it.
    Hope this post opens their eyes!

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 4:53 PM

    Chestiile pe care le-ai enumerat mai sus se vad destul de repede la un individ, asta daca ai ochi sa vezi! Daca observi astfel de comportamente, walk away!!! Oricum nu trebuie sa faci chiar totul pentru “amicul”, mai lasa-l sa se descurce si singur, prea multe gesturi de gratulare si de recompensa construiesc un piedestal pt el si, de obicei, nu prea se mai poate da jos…si asa incepe sa se poarte grosier! Daca totusi vrei sa-l pastrezi, de cate ori face o greseala (din cele enumerate mai sus) spune-i-o, ajuta-l sa inteleaga cum te-a facut sa te simti si lauda-i orice progres, oricat de mic!
    P.S. Mai am ponturi din astea…:)

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 4:59 PM

    A real jerk will never admit he’s a jerk. He’s always gonna blame it on you. You’re not giving everything you’ve got, you’re too persistent, you ask for too much attention…

    He’ll never appreciate you supporting him and everything he does.

    A real jerk is hopless.

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 4:59 PM

    Hm… un specimen de tipul asta oricum crede ca le stie pe toate. Nu cred ca se va obosi vreodata sa inteleaga ce-ai scris tu.

  • Reply
    alt mihai
    03/06/2006 at 5:05 PM

    I am a jerk, though I never did what you wrote. I would write something about women, yet I’ll be considered women-hater. I’m pretty sick of women considering themselves the center of the univers (not talking about you at all): my opinion never counts, what I like sucks, my life is fuckin’ easy etc.

    Actually, I think there’s a ballance, you just have to wait/search for what you want. And let some be jerks, otherwise you wouldn’t have what to choose from.

    Geez, I’m really a jerk 😛

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 5:14 PM

    Pai normal ca nu va recunoaste ca se poarta urat, probabil ca nici nu-si da seama de asta. Oricum, consider ca nici unul dintre parteneri nu este centrul universului si nici unul dintre ei nu merita totul de la celalalt… din fericire eu nu am intalnit prea multe specimene din acestea, dar cred ca asta depinde si de atitudinea pe care o ai si de cum trasezi limitele!

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 7:33 PM


  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 8:00 PM

    cea cu tricoul nu e ok. tricoul se spala cand nu-l mai poti suferi pe tine. 🙂
    daca ei nu-i place asta… cauti o alta ea.

    ok… joke over. se vede modul de gandire feminin. ce spui acolo e destul de ok. spin-ul nu prea e, dar asta-i altceva. scriem asa cum suntem.

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 8:20 PM

    first, i’m sorry. daca iti amintesti, la asta ma refeream atunci cand te-am enervat nezicandu-ti ceva legat de o pers pe care o adorai dupa doar 2 zile. alegerile tale, lumea in care te invarti. and second of all… citesc publicatii specializate. asta nu imi place, daca te-ai prins: generalistul nu ma mai atrage de mult. ca sa te citez “i’m fucked up”. sau poate somebody else is a jurk addicted

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 9:47 PM

    [21:28] someone: http://www.andressa.ro/
    [21:35] someone:
    [21:35] someone: citit?
    [21:35] me: citesc
    [21:35] me: si ma minunez
    [21:35] me: si scriu un comment
    [21:36] someone: sufera nu?
    [21:36] me: destul de… problema e ca nu minte… suntem asa… doar ca la noi magarelile sunt pe fata!
    [21:36] me: ele nu pot fi jerks! ptr ca nu e in natura lor.
    [21:40] me: magar, porc, etc. sunt atribute masculine prin excelenta
    [21:41] someone: :))
    [21:41] me: ce enumera ea acolo sunt defecte masculine.
    [21:41] me: putem si noi sa enumeram multe(machiaj, teste de “fidelitate”, “de ce ma suni asa des, ma sufoci” cand sunam daca ea nu suna, etc.)
    [21:42] me: dar deja subiectul e muuuuuuuuuult prea dezbatut si a face teoria chibritului despre “sine a gresit mai mult” e o totala pierdere de timp!

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 9:54 PM

    Later comment for messa : vrei un om sau un catel? Caci limitele le trasezi unui animal pe care-l dresezi(e.g. pisica trebuie invatata sa faca la nisip). Limitele se discuta in cel mai bun caz… iar daca ai nevoie de trasat, cazi in “pacatul numarul 2 al Jerkului”, being bossy. You are supposed to steer together through the storm, not reserve flotation devices, for God’s sake!

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 11:17 PM

    sunt si foarte multe femei “jerk”, ca sa folosesc acelasi cuvant 😛 Insa sunt foarte misto ideile enumerate de tine, foarte misto si “solutiile” propuse… oare vor invata ceva ticalosii din astea?

  • Reply
    03/06/2006 at 11:41 PM

    Silvia and others:
    being a jerk is not gender related. there are also women who can’t see that they’re luchy and they should act like it.

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 12:15 AM

    …reading your post was kinda’ fun(–seeing all this “fury”–) but, seeeeeeriousely, duude! maybe it’s easier to put it this way: JERKS AND “BEACHES” DESERVE EACH OTHER! Thus, the people who think of themselves as beeing “normal” should avoid contact with them…I know how it’s like to give up a “veeery loving girl” because the cleanest thing in her house was the dog, and I also have some buddies that are by nature losers and jerks, but it’s been a long a revelation to me: THEY ALWAYS FIND PEOPLE MORE OR LESS ALIKE! so, chill.. p.s.: anyone can be a jerk or a bitch…

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 12:31 AM


  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 12:39 AM

    am citit

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 12:42 AM

    ok 🙂

  • Reply
    bobby’s corner… » Blog Archive » Being a jerk
    04/06/2006 at 1:54 AM

    […] Asta era initial un comentariu la postul andressei despre cum sa nu fii “a jerk”. Am incercat sa raspund, dar mi-am dat seama ca depaseam dimensiunile unui comentariu. Asa ca, aici este raspunsul meu. As vrea sa adaug ca nu sunt nici gay si nici nu am probleme de adaptare in societate: imi plac femeile si, de cele mai multe ori, ele ma plac la randul lor. Cu toate asta, cred ca Andressa, in postul ei, descrie un mare fraier: una e sa te porti cu o tipa frumos, alta e sa fii prietena ei. OK, acum urmeaza comentariul la postul andressei: I am a jerk. I am the center of my own universe, I have my own things I have to take care of. I will listen to you, but if you want me to tell you that you are right when you’re not, forget it. I will not tell you that things will work out: they won’t, usually, unless you do something about it. […]

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 10:31 AM

    Ma cam speriasem citind ce scrisese Andressa. Ma temeam ca viitorul este sumbru si o sa ajungem sa traim intr-o lume absolut monotona si cenusie, in care toata lumea se poarta civilizat cu toata lumea, in care ne spalam si ne schimbam des tricourile si ciorapii, in care nu profitam de momentul in care cineva are nevoie sa discute despre problemele sale ca sa ii mai dam niste bocanci in gura.
    Din fericire mai exista barbati adevarati. Care muta TOATA mobila, nu doar o parte din ea.

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 10:42 AM

    da, Oana, ce bine ca ne putem baza pe barbati adevarati care nu se multumesc cu 2 fotolii, ci pun mana si pe canapea!

    Sunt topita dupa barbatii adevarati care nu imi sunt prieteni, ci adevarati stalpi in relatie!

    ce m-as face cu un tip cu umor, bun simt si ceva personalitate? O carpa, Oana! Mai bine am unul care executa mutatul obiectelor grele si isi vede de viata!

    Viceversa: cine vrea o prietena cu pareri? Ce – se crede psiholog? Sa isi vada de treaba, sa iasa domne’ cu fetele cand are chef de vorba si sa ma lase pe mine sa aduc bani in casa!!

    Bobby, eu vorbeam de nesimtiti/nesimtite, dar vorbim si de misogini, daca tot ai deschis subiectul…

    …ma duc la bucatarie ca am ceva pe foc! 😛

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 1:23 PM

    I love you 🙂 these things needed to be said. Guys, start writing down. Lessons learnt, homework done? OK, then.

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 1:32 PM

    love you too, monsoux 🙂

    unfortunately, many agree with bobby.
    as I said, once a jerk, always a jerk! 😀

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 7:18 PM

    Girls admit it you are naturally atracted to jerks. I know this from from many girls. You don’t want a partner, you want someone who can dominate you.
    I’m one of those who runned to the girl if she had any problems, who never asked her to deliver pizza. Who treated her as an equal. But i was dumped for a jerk. Because jerks have something that we, the Mr. Nice Guy types do not have. So …No More Mr. Nice Guy
    You only have what you wanted. What you deserve.

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 8:07 PM

    wellll..this time i gotta’ admit…ti-a iesit bine..Se simte rage-ul care sare sa rupa pagina dar at least e funny si un material nu complet lipsit de valoare didactica sa spunem. Faza naspa cu noi femeile este ca- cu cat le spunem mai des(barfim), cu cat le spunem mai tare(tzipam), cu cat le spunem mai hotarat(pt noi tot timpu’ e totul sau nimik)..cu atat credem mai mult ca suntem convinse de ceea ce spunem…but as u know..in love not everything is black&white- e.g. jerk/ non-jerk…daca am avea pe langa o imensa ambitie rationala si o capacitate asisderea, n-ar mai trebui sa fie 4, 5 pasi de a determina un veritabil jerk…n-ar mai exista testul celui de-al doilea pas pt ca ar fi de mult aplikat principiul “un sut in fund lui, un pas inainte pentru mine”…..dar, din nou, felicitari pt valoarea lirica a furiei tale.b-u-t-full!

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 8:55 PM

    perfect de-acord cu punctul 5, dar pt 1 si 2 as zice mai degraba ca e mult mai bine sa te descarci decat sa tii totul in tine sa zambesti si sa spui ca o sa aduci ketchup-ul ala. merita sa candidezi la premiul pentru ‘miss perfection 2006’? 3: unui barbat ii ia mult timp sa se educe in a nu mai ‘admira’ alte femei, mai ales daca e in natura lui sa se comporte asa. 4: no comment 🙂 Dar ce stiu eu, sunt cu vreo 3-4 ani (?) mai mica decat tine 🙂

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 11:27 PM

    Ludas: http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html 🙂

    but, more important: it always takes two to really mess up things.

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 11:53 PM

    Practical guide on “How to spot a BITCHES”

    I could have written these lines in Romanian but I must admit – by using common English language I tend to seem much sexier than I really am. And this is not what everybody wants? To be someone else, someone better? I think so.

    You can bet that love doesn’t suck. Is just that there are moments when you feel your entire inner world collapsing and not having contact points with reality anymore. It’s even worst if all she could say before dumping you was “it’s the way it has to be”, or “if we were meant for each-other this would have happened”. This is bullshit and you know it. Everything would have been different if she could only have been able to offer you a fair explanation – that much. But no, she didn’t. And the reason for this is, well, she is a BITCH. So, not to worry, it’s ok to cry out loud, but only for a period. Don’t look too much into the dark side of things because it’s possible to be looked back. And this is not good at all. Don’t believe me, believe Mr. Bacon, he is the one who said that. And by the way, if anyone is trying to tell to you that mourning is wrong, send him/her to hell. She has her balls done recently and now they are bigger. Ups, I said she? Sorry… 🙂

    Not to worry, though. Here is a very practical guide how to spot and keep distance from BITCHES. Now, remember, this species is a very present one and it succeeded during the last few years to find new ways of disguising among us. Just follow my leads and you will be able, eventually, to live a BITCH-free life. But, remember, not all the women are BITCHES. I have a mother and a sister that cannot be put in this category, under any circumstances. So, be careful.

    1. The only purpose a car has is to walk you from point A to point B. That was the original reason the car was invented for back in 1900s. I know that lately a certain mainstream and widespread current of opinion was launched, like a car (which, remember, is a mean of transportation, nothing else) can give you some social status. This is not true. In fact, this is exactly what a BITCH would say regarding to this issue. So, a BITCH is a person that has suddenly forgot to use the following means of transportation: cabs, public transport, walking (yes, you heard me). For instance, the woman I’ve been in love with some time ago had developed a powerful carsickness because I had a ’92 Dacia car (back then it was the only brand I could afford).

    2. The vacancies are about having fun and maximum of relaxation with the ones you love. An exotic place to go in vacancy cannot give also social status. Of course, you can have much fun in the Barbados Islands than in Costinesti-Village, but you got my point. A BITCH would use this opportunity to remind you once again how low is your salary and how poor are your negotiation skills, because you were not able to obtain a better deal with your employer. Or how loser you are because you didn’t find a better job with bigger bonuses.

    3. If your car (Dacia brand, remember?) has damaged just on your way to the vacancy destination, a BITCH will also use this opportunity to make you feel real bad and quite a small person. She cannot, under any circumstances, be supportive for a change, or appreciate your efforts to find someone qualified to make the repairs at 5 AM.

    4. When she is telling you that this Saturday she wants to go in a club with some friends, you must understand that she wants to go in a club with some guys from work. You must not, under any circumstances, say something like – “Honey, maybe I can go too. This week we’ve been together only for a few hours on Wednesday evening…” This will cause severe repercussions to your ears. A BITCH wants to have as much fun as she cans, no matter with whom. She is too important to even think that her actions might hurt someone’s feelings.

    5. Do not propose her for a walk in a public park. Do not try to walk her home from work (unless you drive a BMW 645 series). This is too embarrassing for her because she is a BITCH. What her colleagues would say about this?

    6. Do not try to be her friend. It’s like in marketing; once you have a positioning it’s very difficult to change it. Once her friend, always you’ll be her friend. Because she is a BITCH. And bitches don’t think at all. The present moment is too important for them. Don’t try to be supportive. Don’t try to be by her side and, most of all; don’t try to comfort her when she gets rejected at job interviews or in other crap situations. A BITCH would think that you want to get laid (btw, if this is true, than you’re a moron and you shouldn’t read this stuff at all).

    7. Do not say to a BITCH that she is beautiful, because she is not. She might have a pretty face and some perfect teeth, but this is it. If you say to her that she is beautiful, she would probably think that you want to get laid again (and again; if this is true, you shouldn’t be reading this, there are better ways to entertain yourself).

    8. A BITCH will use every single situation and context in order to take advantage of your feelings. She will ask you to help her with some crap stuff from work, she will borrow money from you in order to pay for her classes (she will even ask you to prepare her final exam), and the most important and painful – she will discuss all this with her best friend (which is also a BITCH).

    9. Do not try to cheer her up when she is down. Do not say, “Yes, honey, I know, this is a delicate situation and a pretty difficult moment but, look, you still have me. Everything will be ok, I’m there for you. Let’s find a solution together.” Nothing will be ok, because she is a BITCH. And she will say for sure something like, “Yes, I have you, but I don’t have my own car to drive and I also don’t have my own centered-town place to live” (and this is true, my God; you know this is true).

    10. A BITCH will never fall in love for someone like you. If you’re on this site and read this blog and these lines, you probably don’t own an BMW, you don’t clubbing and you are probably preparing your vacancy in Vama Veche. A person like her is not capable to love someone like you. And this is for the best. One more tip; in these situations you should have more trust in what other people say. It’s true what they say – love is actually blind.

    Anyway, there is no point in being nice, polite or smart (if you do so, you could easily pass as a winter cherry). You have to be a JERK in order to survive. When you pass 30 year-old limits, the only women available for you are the BITCHES. All the good girls are probably happily married with children. This is how life it works.

  • Reply
    04/06/2006 at 11:56 PM

    No, really, I meant how to spot a BITCH… 🙂

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 12:05 AM

    I think the people you are talking about, regardless their sex, are money-oriented-creatures who can’t commit to a relationship.

    I’m sorry if you’ve met persons who made you feel unconfertable for not having an expensive car, but saying that you shouldn’t be your partener’s friend is a mistake. I pity the person who shares his or her life with someone this resentful.

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 12:14 AM

    Oh, my dear Andressa, thank you for your comment but have you not felt my irony? What a small man you think I am…

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 12:19 AM

    I don’t know what kind of a man you are.
    Hope you were ironic 🙂


  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 12:31 AM

    andreea, eu nu sunt misogin. cred ca o femeie poate fi desteapta, o femeie poate fi o partenera.

    dar ce spui tu acolo e dictatura celui mai slab. eu vreau pe cineva egal langa mine, nu vreau o tipa care e egala doar cand vrea ea, dar trebuie sa tin seama ca “e femeie”. in plus, alege-ti momentele: daca tu vii la mine cand sunt intr-o discutie cu cineva si vrei alintata, chances are you will have to do it yourself.

    nu am sa te lovesc, nu am sa te las pe tine sa cari mobila (tu ma stii, crezi ca s-ar pune problema vreodata sa te las cu mobila in mijlocul drumului?), dar nu ma pune sa ma transform in ceea ce nu sunt.

    mai mult, eu vreau ca partenera mea sa aiba opinii, pareri, dar sa nu imi ceara sa fiu de acord cu ele. in plus, vreau sa imi argumenteze ceea ce vrea/crede cu argumente mai puternice decat “asa vreau”, “asa imi place mie”, “asta e”. pentru ca, de cele mai multe ori, ca o consecinta, eu “asa nu vreau”, mie “asa nu imi place” si, “asta e, ne vedem peste 10 ani!”

    sunt multe de spus. ideea e ca eu nu sunt misogin si nici nu sunt vreun marlan care isi impune parerea cu palma sau pumnul. dar daca vrei partener egal, comporta-te ca atare.

    P.S.:nici nu vreau sa ma gandesc la folosirea sexului ca modalitate de convingere sau santaj.

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 1:41 AM

    Tre sa dai Cezarului ce e al Cezarului. In general pare un pik cam patetik pt un baiat sa scrie asa ceva(e ca si cum ar admite ca si-a luat-o serios in bot, o data cel putin in viata), dar totusi..baiatul a sintetizat ok si ca sa asigure balanta a mai bagat 5 puncte in plus(chiar daca a folosit prea multe motive recurente- fii mai iventiv!)..dar toate cu toate fain. E ipocrit ca si femeie, cand sustii ca exista jerks, sa nu admiti ca exista bitches..i know them..they truly do exist, walking all around, with just the tiny tip of their nose stiffed in the clowds. Am prieteni care sunt ingroziti de existenta lor: de capcanele lor parfumate, de genele lor misterioase si de puloverele lor de imitatie de angora..it’s a fucked up life.dar ASTEA , ca shi AIA, exista!

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 2:18 AM

    De multe ori ma doare-n pix de femeia care-mi aduce pizza din simplul motiv ca nu dau doi bani pe ce vrea ea sa para in ochii mei sau ai altor “audiente”. Femeia pe care o respect si o iubesc nu-mi aduce pizza, imi aduce un zambet care ma face sa devin un soldat model, un general de geniu pentru care punctele pe care le-ai mentionat sunt detalii fara importanta.

    Privind problema din alt unghi, mirosul scatic al fetzei din plastic si al iluziei (expirata ieri) ca totul in jurul ei (nr. modern-girl) se masoara in zambete admirative si comentarii (date din nevoia de a se afirma a altor fetze din plastic) imi intoarce stomacul pe dos mai rau decat orice secretzii uitate sau lasate intentionat pe textila. Peisajul asta scarbos nu s-ar fi povestit daca n-ar fi existat deopotriva omul care pute in interior si cel care-i face viata mai frumoasa aducandu-i parfumul in olfactiv.

    Cum spunea cineva, fiecare dintre noi are ‘surrounding-ul’ pe care si-l merita.

    De data asta in engleza lor: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=jerk

  • Reply
    tales from the Weed-Chip Cookie land
    05/06/2006 at 5:43 AM

    […] A doua concluzie mă surprinde mai mult. Când îşi manifestă o persoană propriul caracter? Când ştie că este constrâns de responsabilitate sau când nu trebuie să-şi asume responsabilitate pentru faptele sale? Nu de alta, dar dacă responsabilitatea este un construct social şi omul nu se defineşte prin esenţa sa gregară, nu putem decât să concludem că omu’ îşi manifestă adevăratul caracter când nu este constrâns. Iar în acest caz, avem pe străzi o grămadă de bombe atomice care fac tic-tac, din cauza tuturor chestiilor reprimate… auzi cică “n-am voie, d00h!” Şi dacă vorbim deja de constrângeri mi-a mai venit în cap ceva (de aici şi de la postul Andressei) nu neapărat la nivelu’ de responsabilitate, dar la nivelul de relaţie interumană. De când am zis Cricri is a bitch şi am pus punct joculeţului – a se citi “I gave up all hope that she could be like in the first four months” – am observat-o, am observat munca ei şi am comentat, nene. Constructiv şi insistent. Şi e chiar uşor. Şi culmea e că nu fac nimic din răutate şi sunt atent… şi nici măcar NLP nu aplic şi deja she breaks down. Păcat. Păcat că n-am luat notiţe serioase – poate-mi ieşea un studiu klumea No Comments so far Leave a comment RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI Leave a comment Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong> […]

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 8:09 AM

    Calitatea barbatilor in ziua de azi este foarte low. it’s a fact. ask around. Ceea ce imi face mie viata usoara =))))))))))))))))).

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 11:01 AM

    Si uite cum Andressa schimba atentia de la remarca lui Azaziel… (cu o miiiiiiiiiiiiiica doza de flirt ca desert:D, care bine-nteles ca poate fi negata vehement, ca nu e decat o remarca nevinovata, right? C’mon…)

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 11:03 AM

    Most guys advertise by making eyes and telling lies.

    Fara mimi, clovni sau veverite.

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 12:09 PM

    People who treat others like dirt exist, regardless of their sex, as I said. Call them jerks or bitches, it’s your choice.

    Alex, if that’s flirting, we’re all whores. Get a grip.

    Bobby, since when being a misoginist means beating up women? I didn’t say anything about physical violence. I was talking about not treating your partener with respect.

    Zooliat, you’re missing the point. The pizza was not the point, making an effort was. Smiling is in the same category, i.e. being nice with to your loved one. Rule no. 1: do not confuse the term girlfriend / boyfriend with “pizza delivery boy”.

    People, this isn’t a sex-war, we’re talking about the people who are selfish and incapable of showing appreciation – these people do not deserve our excuses. They have none.

  • Reply
    Comment posted on
    05/06/2006 at 2:00 PM

    An environment where people throw their cobble-like frustrations onto a peaceful demonstration, meant to ask for sex-orientation tolerance, will always provide a significant number of “jerks”. The we-reserve-the-right-to-damn-all-others-to-emphasize-us type of behaviour is there to stay. I don’t think this post will “open their eyes”. In the end, you did conclude that “A real jerk is hopless”.

    Let’s hope this post will motivate other “jerk-fighers”. If there won’t be at least an ideatic anti-jerk continous form of expression, in other words – if this post won’t be sustained by others -, it will only mean some 45 wasted minutes, a bit more popularity for your blog and a little bitterness.

    It’s good that it generated that many comments though.

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 3:12 PM


    Te citesc de mult, nu mai tin minte cum am descoperit blogul tau — probabil a fost o chestie de genul click-click-click 😉
    Unele chestii pe care le-ai scris au aratat o tona de talent si o personalitate probabil misto. Insa postul cu non-jerk-u’ lasa mult de dorit, sincer. Am avut senzatia clara ca citesc “Cosmo” uitat de prietena mea in baie sau asa ceva. While dude, you can do so much better than that.

    1) pizza example. Da, ai facut un efort. Da, ai primit mai putin decat meritai. Dar orgoliul, ah, orgoliul, de ce trebuit sa fie sky-high? “I smiled and said I was gonna bring some ketchup. I never came back”, spuse ea, aruncandu-si c-un gest nervos o suvita rebela pe spate. Ha, i-am tras-o! Si ce-ai obtinut? Crezi c-a inteles ceva? Lasa-ma sa ma indoresc. Esti mai fericita acum? Idem.

    2) “Most probably, you’re confident ’cause you’re not doing anything and consequently you never screw up” (mi-e lene sa dau page up prea des si citez din memorie, banuiesc ca nu foarte accurate). Err, where did this assumption come from? De ce esti cu tipu’ ala in the first place, daca presupui ca singuru’ motiv pentru care nu greseste e ca nu munceste? Plus, dai din belsug c-un feminist spin peste tot paragraful, citezi probabil cuvintele lui, dar cu tonul tau. Te-ai gandit ca poate chiar gresisei pe bune la job? Dar vai, vorba aluia cu A seis-ul, am uitat, esti femeie, cand gresesti, imediat trebuie sa fii alintata. Asta a sunat misogin cu frisca pe deasupra, da’ cam asa ai scris-o. N-ai cerut suport, ai cerut mangaiere si alintare, nu ajutor concret. “Mangaie-ma pe cap si spune-mi ca va fi totu’ bine”.

    3) Wow, I can smell frustration from miles away. Ai trei variante: A) te apuci si spui “mmm i’d so do that guy over there, just look at the bulge in those sexy jeans, dammit I’m so wet already”, si jerk-u’ tau va pricepe mesaju’. Varianta asta e un pic cam copilaroasa. Sau B), grow up, get some confidence, ce crezi c-o sa si-o traga jerk-u’ cu Carmen Electra? (WRF is so great ’bout her BTW…). Sau for that matter, tu cu Brad Pitt? 🙂 Varianta C), daca jerk-u’ iti serveste o bucata d-asta cam la 10 minute, spune-i politicos sa repete clasele 7-10, cand e okay sa salivezi dupa every fine piece of ass you see. Anyway, don’t just walk, arati ca n-ai nici confidence in yourself, nici nu vrei sa faci vreun compromis si sa discuti problema, nici n-aveai ce cauta langa jerk-u’ tau in the first place.

    4) Again and again: did you *address the problem*? Sau mai mult te-ai preocupat de cum s-o faci sa sune catchy, Cosmo-style? (mda azi am ceva cu Cosmo)

    5) Nimeni nu vrea sa fie “nursed”. Unless your jerk has not really grown up. Am vaga impresia ca toata frustrarea asta vine de la o relatie in care ai investit mult, si degeaba. Tipu’ pare un baietel imatur, care fluiera dupa mme. Electra cand o vede pe sticla, plange ca un copchilas rasfatat imediat ce n-ai sunat when you said you would, are greturi daca pizza a venit fara ketchup si etc. Iar tu pari a fi inghitit multe, *fara sa fi adresat problemele in vreun fel*, iar acu’ a venit momentu’ sa rant-uiesti nitel 😉 Doar ca nu prea rezolvi nimic… si pari sa meriti mult mai mult.

    Uff, ce inseamna sa n-ai chef de lucru dimineata la 8am… te apuci si comentezi pe blogu’ Andressei 😉 Sunt curios daca vei citi acest al N-lea comment la postu’ tau de mare succes 😉


  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 4:22 PM

    Da, Dumi, am citit si al 43-lea comentariu.

    Nu numai ca stiu ca suna Cosmo postul, dar chiar am spus la inceput ca scriu in engleza pentru terminologia este preluata din filme de genul Sex in the City.

    Noi avem o problema de comunicare. Eu spun ca unele lucruri nu se rezolva, tu spui “de ce induri?”. Pai nu indur. Tocmai. Dar ideea era alta: ma adresam tipilor care se poarta urat si le spuneam ca nu va ramane cineva de calitate langa ei, daca nu o trateaza ca pe o fiinta umana.

    Ideea nu este ca am avut relatii in care am investit mult si degeaba [toata lumea a avut si astfe; de relatii], cat este ca ar trebui sa stie toata lumea ca purtandu-te urat, ii alungi pe cei dragi de langa tine.

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 4:53 PM

    dumi a fost mai bland in explicatii dar practic spune acelasi lucru pe care l-am spus si eu. Inainte de orice investitie se face un “studiu de fezabilitate” 😉 Daca vei continua investitia si da cu minus e foarte probabil ca tu sa fii problema. E complicat sa gasesti esenta cand trebuie sa sapi (sau sa fii “sapata”) dincolo de plasticul trendy. Less cosmo, more truth. Succes.

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 4:59 PM

    hello andressa. sunt curios. dupa tine, exista si girl-jerks?

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 5:02 PM

    emi, citeste mai sus. am zis de mai multe ori “regardless of their sex”.
    e vorba de persoane care se poarta urat. subject closed.

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 5:38 PM

    Men (and women, for that matter) who eat their pizza with ketchup deserve to be dumped.

  • Reply
    05/06/2006 at 5:45 PM

    my bad. n-am apucat sa citesc toate comentariile. Acum le-am citit. One more thing: cu toate ca sunt de acord cu “pasii” propusi de tine, cred ca ai omis unul esential, pe care in general oamenii, “regardless of their sex”, il omit: BE HONEST. Subject closed. Again.

  • Reply
    bagheta magica
    06/06/2006 at 1:33 PM

    fetelor mai lasati lectura revistelor de genul lumea femeilor, unica, cosmo… nu fac decit sa va dea o imagine falsa despre ce ar trebui sa va asteptati de la barbati. si apropos de jerks si bitches:
    toti barbatii ajung mai devreme sau mai tirziu in stadiul de “jerks” la fel cum toate femeile devin niste “bitches”. asta e rezultatul in/evolutiei in cadrul societatii actuale: toata lumea e prea grabita sa-si satisfaca dorintele/nevoile proprii fara a tine cont de cei pe care-i calca in picioare pentru asta.
    P.S. referitor la exemplul cu dacia si bmw-ul: toata lumea stie ca pentru femei inportanta este “frumusetea interioara” a barbatului! da! chestia e ca interiorul unui bmw o ajuta sa vada mai bine chestia asta decit cel al unei dacii/trabant/aerul liber…

  • Reply
    06/06/2006 at 5:41 PM

    Dragut articolul. Nu pot insa sa nu observ asemanarea dintre posturile insirate aici si un forum. 🙂

  • Reply
    Cristian Mezei
    11/06/2006 at 9:05 AM

    Andressa, daca tot ti-ai facut timp sa scrii articolul asta, fa si unul in care sa dai sfaturi femeilor care batuiesc barbatii. In sensul sa gaseasca tratament undeva.

    Sau ai impresia ca numai nou suntem evil ?

  • Reply
    11/06/2006 at 11:39 AM

    Cristian, fa-ti si tu timp si citeste comentariile de mai sus. Am specificat ca orice persoana e vizata, atata timp cat se poarta urat cu cineva drag.

  • Reply
    23/07/2006 at 2:36 PM

    vorbaraie inutila … dragostea nu exista … este doar o reactie chimica … persoana iubita nu exista … exista doar imiginea ei din capul nostru … In momentul in care ne dam seama ca realitatea nu este cea din capul nostru incercam sa il schimbam pe cel de langa noi … Daca reusim asta suntem fericiti o vreme pana cand ne mai avand ce schimba ne plictisim … daca nu reusim asta il consideram un jerk … ce usor ar fi daca am putea aprecia pe cineva exact pentru ceea ce este el si nu pentru ceea ce vrem noi sa devina … ce usor ar fi daca am putea iubi in primul rand defectele cuiva nu doar calitatile … cei care spun “te iubesc, dar ai putea sa te lasi de fumat/bei mai putin/stai mai mult cu mine/etc…” habar nu au ce inseamna dragostea … asa ca se apuca sa caute pe cineva pe care sa dea vina … ex: eu il/o iubesc atat de mult dar el/ea nu face nu stiu ce pentru mine sau nu face nu stiu ce in general … de unde apare si discutia despre jerk …

  • Reply
    08/09/2006 at 1:16 PM

    CacMaca a pus punctul pe I. Sunt atat de multe alte lucruri interesante in lumea asta insa unii se cantoneaza in acelasi gen de probleme…In principiu este cunoscut faptul ca barbatii sunt niste animale ce nu-si schimba modul de viata, iar femeile isi schmba destul de des infatisarea, habitatul, logica, ideile…

  • Reply
    24/03/2007 at 1:32 PM

    barbatii adevarati nu plang. ever. ei beau ca porcii si asteapta sa planga altii de mila lor. i just love to be a real man.

  • Reply
    16/04/2007 at 12:02 PM

    Barbati adevarati plang … toata lumea plange mai ales cand nu se gasesc in nici una din regulile de jerk`s enumerate mai sus … si dak eu nu fac nimic din pasi aia ai tai ? de ce sunt jerk si nu numai de ce ma lasat prietena ?

  • Reply
    28/05/2007 at 9:05 AM

    Ai prieten ? de cit timp ?…planuri de viitor ? sau defecte profesionale te fac sa il analizezi prea in detaliu… nobody’s perfect…
    inca o chestie … l-ai luat de git… sa-l scuturi bine ? si sa-i aplici o avalansa de vorbe ? gen… bai ‘gigi’ esti un bou ,etc,etc, pt siplul motiv ca nu sti sa ma apreciezi ” vorba aia … tu ai cap… pleci … dar ramane alta in bratele lui… si oricit de vinovata ar fi ‘cealalta’ tot nu merita acelasi regim… si poate i dasi lui de gindit…
    ei… nu pune la suflet… poate sunt si eu un ‘jerk’ sau poate imi place sa bat cimpii 😉
    nu raspunde… doar raspundeti tie … desi cred ca ai altele mai bune de facut 🙂

  • Reply
    04/07/2007 at 12:38 AM

    Ha ha ha! legat de step 1 ala al tau:
    1. Do not confuse the concept “girlfriend” with “pizza delivery boy” or “cleaning lady”.

    Mi se pare al naibii de amuzant ca ai fost tratata ca si cum ar fi fost invers rolurile: tu baiatul si ea fata in timpul menstruatiei. Suuupertare! Mai fac si eu jocul asta cateodata, incep cu reprosuri total incoerente, exact ca o femeie si observ reactia fetei la cum e sa fii batut cu propriile arme.

    Deci tu ai plecat fara sa zici nimic… hmm, pai daca toti baietii ar face asta, inseamna ca fetele ar ramane singure. Reciteste inlocuind boyfriend cu girlfriend, he cu she etc.. 😀

    Oricum, a fost cam… nesimtit, ceea ce e valabil si pt fetele care fac asta…

    mi-a placut si articolul ala agresivitatea e noul romantism sau ce faci, papusa, hai la mine sa vedem un film pe calculator. Sunt perfect de acord cu ce spui, e ca un deget de tzaran pe … romantismul din ziua de azi.

  • Reply
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    06/08/2022 at 2:48 AM

    writes in the official http://Www.Wholesale.bookmarking.site blog

    This is for all the jerks out there – Andressa

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