two years

I’ve been writing this blog for over two years now. That’s a bit scary. It has changed my life, you know. Personally and professionally.

It happens daily that I wish to stop blogging. For example, I feel pressured not to write (therapeutically) about my fears. Because of the intrusive response to everything I confess from people who hardly know me. It comes with the territory and sometimes… I just want to move back to the off-line country. And I will. But not so soon as tomorrow.

Anyway, I sleep better and better because my mother bought drapes for my room and the darkness and the quiet are food for my sleepy soul. I found the drapes hanging by the windows when I came back – I was away for two days. And I invented a new state of mind: “happily stressed”. Happiness stresses me out – I just wait for it to end. I was told – in therapy – that not everybody expects an unhappy ending to every situation. Really? Is it just me? Only I see the ending before it begins? I can’t accept that. I hope you’re all just as pessimistic because I don’t want to admit I have a problem. 🙂

Two years ago I would have said I am optimistic. Many things change in two years.


  • Reply
    Alex Predeal
    25/11/2007 at 11:12 PM

    So you have some psychological quirks. We all do. Off-line sucks. Have a great evening!

  • Reply
    25/11/2007 at 11:52 PM

    Off-line rocks.
    Just start a new blog if writing about your fears is too public or a plain old notebook just isn’t enough. Get yourself a new personality to handle fears online.

  • Reply
    Ivan cel Groaznic
    26/11/2007 at 1:16 AM

    Yeah… “and I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad” (Gary Jules – Mad world)…
    I often feel the same thing…
    I was so enthusiastic when I first wrote few world about me on my blog and 2 or 3 visitors were always checking it for new “articles” from my life… from me…
    Then it grew, and it grew… I can’t say that I have so many readers… there are about 15 or 20… but I am attached with them now…

    I haven’t wrote so much last time… my book I’ve started last year is now wrecked… and I feel like a part of me has dissapeared… and it’s hard…

    It became a part of us… it’s our pleasure… it’s “our curse”…

    Maybe for you it’s so hard now, but for me (for example) it’s a pleasure to read your notes…

    It’s hard… it’s your decision…
    It’s your life… it’s up to you…

    Maybe you’ll want to read this…
    I don’t wish this to you…

    Take care…
    I bow to you…

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 1:26 AM

    Happy bday if i may say so and keep up what you’re doing

    i agree that offline rocks, but I spend most of my time online, it’s so neverending and resourceful 🙂

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 2:57 AM

    Pls don’t stop Andressa! Keep going! The life is a challenge for all of us … And cheer up! 🙂 Just listen Bobby Mcferrin – Don’t Worry, Be Happy .. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjnvSQuv-H4

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 9:24 AM

    Honey…. you need a break … something away from all the things that make the same old boring usual day … take your backpack ,something to wear (not to much) and take a walk….in a pleace were you had a good memory , but it must be away from the “big city” … for a week at least … search your soul… make peace with yourself… eventualy talk with your mother every morning and night … but … dont take anyone with you , and break any contact with others … and…. with the risc to miss it too much… dont even look at a computer … write your thoughts on a pice of paper ..

    im not offensiv … its just an advice 🙂

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 9:37 AM

    I do talk to my mother avery morning and every night… since we live together. Somehow that doesn;t solve my problems. 🙂 I did take a break from the city. And very often I don’t come near the computer for days. Any other suggestions? 😀

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 10:05 AM

    You want suggestions ? It’s obviously ! You need a partyyy ! A big and noisy party !
    HAPPY BIRTHDAY for these two years of blogging !
    P.S. Please tell us, where to come ! 😀

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 11:25 AM

    still live with your mother?
    that is so..unconventional..

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 12:02 PM

    i didn’t have to move when I started college, since I was already living in Bucharest. And an apartment is not so affordable, is it? smarty pants…

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 12:08 PM

    la multi ani 🙂

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 12:14 PM

    i am from bucharest too. and prowd member of middle class.
    but that is not the point.
    you can always share an apartment.
    but mom cooks better, right?

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 12:15 PM

    i rarely eat at home. but i’m saving for my own… nest.

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 12:27 PM

    you rarely eat. 🙂

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 12:28 PM

    not true!

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 12:31 PM

    :). Ok Andressa.

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 12:32 PM

    I eat at least once a day, everyday!

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 2:57 PM

    that’s too much! 🙂

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 2:58 PM

    eating daily or blogging for 2 years?
    it lasts three years, you know what they say…

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 3:05 PM

    p.s. here’s a simple solution: get a cat! they do wonders for pessimists. (i have three.)

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 3:08 PM

    it seems that i am not. my friends say i’m very positive. so it must be only my imagination. i have a distoted image of myself.
    and i don’t have time to take care of a pet.

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 4:19 PM

    andressa, eating daily is waaaay too much! gotta keep those 47 kgs under control! 🙂
    p.p.s. cats take care of themselves – if there are two of them, of course. Although there may be some kind of a civil war when they compete for your attention; yes, blood will be shed in the trenches 🙂 but you just can’t imagine what a distorted image of myself i have when sleeping with my cat(s). kinda gay, but it doesn’t bother me. actually it’s refreshing. 🙂

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 4:42 PM

    get a teddy bear…

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 4:48 PM

    I’ve read recently a post about optimism. The theory was that in fact the optimism precedes it’s reasons and being optimist without any reason the motives will not cease to appear. I’ve tried, but the conclusion was that maybe it’s in each ones nature and thus is neither bad or good.

  • Reply
    26/11/2007 at 10:40 PM

    Oh Meredith Grey… you sound more and more like her. Could you just have a Kit Kat and stop thinking that much? Oh, and yes: remember to be “bright and shinny”!

  • Reply
    Raluca T.
    26/11/2007 at 11:18 PM

    For all those who are talking zbout Andressa’s weight: i know her pretty well and i can tell u she eats a lot! kisses from Belgium 😉

  • Reply
    Sergiu Birzu
    27/11/2007 at 2:07 AM

    It’s changing us one by one.. that’s true.

  • Reply
    27/11/2007 at 8:28 AM

    “I sleep better and better because my mother bought drapes for my room and the darkness and the quiet are food for my sleepy soul.” – This sentence just made me cry…I don’t know why…I love light, light and plenty of light…because I can see in the light…and I love seeing. I think hope makes us happiest…or our dreams…hoping in something better for us…

  • Reply
    27/11/2007 at 10:41 AM

    Just to reassure you. I too see the ending before it begins and I’m stressed by happiness – just waiting for the blow and stress even more when it’s not coming because I expect it to get bigger with time. And in spite of this all my friends say I’m an uncurable optimist- actually they say I’m a little bit crazy.

    I’ve always been like that I suppose, then threee years ago I took a chance and things worked out just fine for 2 years. Then it hit me of course, when I wasn’t expecting it anymore. My friends got me through it in the beginning and I thought I was fine until the time came to take a chance again. It was a clear case of seeing the ending before it began and that’s when I realised that I wasn’t cured, that I was really scared of risking because I was already seeing the ending.

    I don’t know very well why or how but I decided to try nevertheless. And guess what? I did end, just as I was expecting it. And now I’m doing it all over again. But I don’t care anymore. All things end eventually right? Now I prefer living them through the end or ending them myself then letting someone else do it.

  • Reply
    27/11/2007 at 11:51 AM

    andressa. please help ..
    i’ll give you a teddybear
    just give me 200 clicks
    i wanna win an Asus eee-pc


  • Reply
    27/11/2007 at 11:52 AM

    i still love you even you don’t help

  • Reply
    27/11/2007 at 1:21 PM

    I don’t think you have a problem. I think that your lack of optimism comes from to much life experience… I mean that you got to know so many people and experience so many things that you have a different opinion from other peoples. You’re not the only one. I also can predict some endings before they happen…

  • Reply
    27/11/2007 at 5:04 PM

    si eu gandesc la fel, adica vad finalul inainte sa inceapa bine, dar ma consider optimista. nu cred ca e o contradictie. poti sa fii un optimist pragmatic! 😀

  • Reply
    27/11/2007 at 11:31 PM

    fara (aproape) nici o legatura cu postul curent…. te incarc cu o leapsa (iI know, I hate it too but…). Trebuie sa povestesti replici memorabile pe care le-ai auzit, ti-au fost adresate sau le-ai adresat cuiva. Sunt preferate replicile de cuplu care s-au soldat cu papuci in vant etc (si presimt ca o sa am ce citi de la tine 😀 ). Detalii aici: http://bogdan.px.ro/?p=127

  • Reply
    29/11/2007 at 9:14 PM

    Life is just like a box of chocolates..

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