Wisdom reloaded

After this:

“Have a drink!”
“No! I have stopped drinking.” and after a short pause: “You know drinking leads to things you might later regret. Like getting together with your ex…”
“Oh, common! The most important part is not to have sex. I mean sex with your ex. Did you?”
“So I have stopped drinking for now”
“… What about your current boy friend?”
“Oh, I didn’t have sex with him yet”

From here.

I bring you this:

“How come nobody loves me?”
“Why don’t you just… masturbate?”
“Oh…. shut up!”