Andressa

Azi, la ora 11:10 pe hotnews. ))

The title is a lyric from a Steven Patrick Morrisey
song called “I’ve Changed My Plea To Guilty”.

That’s how I feel now.  That I don’t deserve freedom. Because I don’t know how to use it, how to make the best of it.

I’ve been watching the news a lot lately. The president I voted for two years ago, very enthusiastically if I may add, has been suspended. Although suspending the president is a democratic measure, the situation is controversial. Were the reasons for the suspension reasonable? I don’t think they were, but it’s more than that. It’s more than being disappointed with a political situation, as important as it may be.

It’s like there’s nothing I can do. It feels like after 18 years after the Revolution we’re slowly going back to dictatorship. And I know it’s very childish to say such a thing. But don’t you feel it’s out of our hands? I mean there are so many telling of how they stood in the cold for hours to vote and now the liberals (who aren’t really liberals, they just call themselves liberals) have allied with the extreme righters and… Complicated.

I heard people say they’re not going to go vote next time. Not only do I think that’s bad, but I think not even voting every now and then is enough of an action to call yourself a citizen. I think we should express our opinions everyday, every time we have the chance. The minute we see people litter, being intolerant or unfair in any way, we should do something about it. Or one day we’ll realize that too many things have added up and it’s too late to change something. Or that the consequences of our passiveness are tragic. And blood will be spilled to get back what we lost.

…there are so many things happening which surely will affect us all but we can’t influence them more than we could influence a hockey game while watching it. The players are pushing each other or scoring and we can only hope it will end the way we want to.

But I think it’s supposed to be different. I think we’re supposed to do lot more. Because we’re free. And that’s the weapon we have. We shouldn’t be afraid to use it.

How to be a NONjerk in five easy steps.

I noticed that when I’m really pissed off, I tend to speak in Englsh. I’ve been brainwashed by the American culture and I start speaking like Carrie Bradshaw form time to time…

Love doesn’t suck. If you’re a guy and you’re crying your pants off ’cause she left you or you’ve been drinking since Tuesday ’cause she doesn’t want to see you anymore, chances are YOU’RE A JERK. Sure, she could have fallen in love with somebody else or her parents made her marry some rich dude – being realistic now – you probablly have been a total jerk and she’s finally realised it and dumped you.

Or maybe you’re just reading this for fun and you have no clue you’re a jerk.. keep reading then! You might be surprised to see how a woman’s mind works,… jerk!

So here it goes: How to be a NONjerk in 5 easy steps.

1. Do not confuse the concept “girlfriend” with “pizza delivery boy” or “cleaning lady”.

Two years ago, on a Saturday morning, my boyfriend called. He had to work during the weekend and he was hungry at 8 o’clock… So I woke up, went to his favourite pizza place in town, got his favourite kind of pizza [no-mashrooms-etc kind of pizza] and took it to his office early in the morning. His reaction? “I told you I was hungry, why did it take so long??” and “No ketchup?? You forgot the ketchup?? You know I can’t eat my pizza without ketchup! You can’t do anything right!”
I smiled and said I was going to get some ketchup. I never came back.

Everytime she makes an effort to make you happy, DO NOT BE A JERK. Say something nice, be grateful. Most people aren’t that giving, so show some appreciation. Or she’ll walk away.

2. Be a friend. Don’t be bossy or judgemental.

I made a mistake at the office one day and told my boyfriend about it. I was afraid I would have to pay damages from my salary, I was terrified. He told me I was lucky I didn’t get fired and that he would have punished me if he were my boss. Thank you, Jesus, please show me how to be perfect like you! Give me a break, jerk!!

Plenty of people had already told me that, I don’t need my boyfriend telling me how clumsy I am, as well. I need him to tell me it’s going to be fine and ask me if he can help me straighten things up.

Whenever she complains about having a bad day, about being afraid of something – listen to her, cheer her up, give her a piece of advice. Don’t make her feel worse, for God’s sake! Don’t tell her she’s no good and that she can’t do anything right. Most probably, you’re confident because you’re not doing anything and that’s how you never mess up. So shove it, jerk!

3. Do not admire other ladies.

Unless you’re Adrien Brody [a.k.a. a perfect guy], do not point out that there are women with gorgeous bodies everywhere. Women are human beings too – they want to copulate as much as you do. We just keep it to ourselves most of the times. Why? Just imagine what it would be like if your girlfriend would share with you her fantasies about strangers: “Uh, I’d definelty do him, just look at that cute ass and that perfect smile, I’d dive him into chocolate and than lick his…” That would be a turn on up to a point, a point where it would start being annoying.

We have eyes, we know Carmen Electra is more than do-able, but we don’t want to hear that everytime she’s on TV. We also know that a certain neighbour in you building is sexy; we don’t need a reminder of that every second of the day. “Here’s a newsflash, honey: she would never date you – you are not exactly Brad Pitt and you’re a JERK.” – And she’ll walk away.

4. Don’t be a monkey.

That sounds like a metaphor, doesn’t it? Well it’s not. We all have the laziness gene in us, but some learn to fight it. So, if you know your girlfriend is coming over, WASH UP. And for God’s sake, clean up a little! I’m no Clean-Queen, but seeing dirty socks and underpants on the floor… Open those windows, they’re not nailed down. Oh, and the Golden Rule: you only wear a T-shirt once – than you put it in the laundry basket. It’s that simple.

5. You are not the center of the universe.

This is a common trait of jerks: thinking the world revolves around them. “You didn’t call? What do you mean you had something important to do??” – if she ever forgets to call when she said she would. Sure, you could’ve picked up the phone and called her yourself, but why would you do that, when you can just rub it in – “I can’t believe you forgot about me… I guess I’m not as important as your job/friends/parents”.

Newsflash: she has a life. She has friends, hobbies, a job [or several], she has some other things to do besides nursing you. Putting her in the position of choosing between everything else and you, as if being your girlfriend would be incompatible with having a life equals YOU ARE A JERK. She’ll walk.

Some people give men a bad name. Dixit.

Un tip a facut “buuu!” la Opera. Da. Azi. (Pe 23, seara.) Se terminase spectacolul, “Madama Butterfly”, iar un tenor era aplaudat de public. A facut “buuu!” cat sa se auda si pe scena, n-a fost doar asa, o gluma intre prieteni. Intre rude, de fapt, tipul, pe la vreo 30 de ani, era in compania unei doamne ce-i parea mama.

Da. Urmeaza ca plasatoarele sa intervina in forta cand domnii la costum si doamnele in rochii de seara scandeaza obscenitati si arunca petarde pe scena. Opera va fi amendata si se va tine spectacolul cu portile inchise.

marturisesc ca pregatesc si eu un blogroll, dar e mai greu decat pare!

Asadar,discutia m-a pus pe ganduri. daca voi lua decizia de a face un efortcand decid ce / cat si cand postez, voi fi mai multumita poate de blog.insa nu voi mai defula cu atata placere… nu-i nimic, ma gandesc.oricum mai am un blog secret!

Numesc “metablogging” sa scrii despre blogging in loc sa bloghezi. Nu-mi palce asta deloc. Iata totusi trei subiecte metablogging.

1. Manafu ma intreaba ce am scos din investitia de timp din blogging. Nu-mi place sa vorbesc despre asta, dar bloghez de cam un an jumate – doi si in timpul asta am cunoscut multi oameni pe care nu i-as fi cunoscut mergand numai la facultate + serviciu + baruri. Pentru ca sunt oameni cu care nu am alte lucruri in comun cu exceptia faptului ca avem bloguri. Asa ca am castigat niste prieteni buni si capital social. Am primit multe oferte de slujbe, cereri in casatorie, invitatii la inghetata si injuraturi. Ca mai toti bloggerii, sunt sigura.

2. Ana Pobleanu ma intreba acum mult timp ce marci prefer. Nu sunt prea consumerista, cred, totusi imi plac berea Bergenbier, editura Polirom (implicit, am ceva cu Humanitas, citesc furioasa cartile lor), hainele de la Mango si cafeaua de la Gregory’s. Folosesc mai ales L’Oreal, Vichy si nu mi-as cumpara alt telefon decat Nokia, desi m-a si dezamagit marca asta.

3. Alex Brie ma intreba care este discursul meu preferat. Dintre filmele preferate, Forrest Gump ocupa un loc aparte. Totusi, mi-e mai usoor sa sap dupa un discurs mai recent auzit si va prezint discursul “love me, pick me” din Grey’s Anatomy. V-am mai scris despre asta, despre discursurile din Grey’s, am scris si eu unul intr-un post. Imi plac aproape in egala masura discursurile “you don’t get to call me a whore” al lui Meredith sau recentul “you’re the love of my life” al lui Derek. Totusi “love me, pick me” ma va face mereu sa tremur, ba chiar sa plang adesea, pentru ca ma regasesc de cand ma stiu in starea de iubire neimpartasita. Si ma identific perfect cu fata care spune cu ochii in lacrimi “I love you in a really, really big pretend-i-like-your-taste-in-music kind of way” si pentru ca e foarte stilul meu sa spun verde-n fata ce simt si ma astept (in mod obisnuit ajung dezamagita) ca oamenii din jurul meu sa dea cartile pe fata la fel ca mine. Si pentru ca apreciez foarte mult sa isi expuna oamenii vulnerabilitatea – asta numesc eu curaj. Sa spui cine esti cu adevarat. Si ce simti cu adevarat. Cu toate riscurile care vin dupa asta. Mai jos e discursul.

In numarul din martie al revistei Unu&Unu, supliment Sapte Seri, subsemnata a umplut paginile de Internet cu o povestioara despre accesul la Internet din Varsovia (scrisa in perioada aceasta), recomandari bloguri cu si despre carti (au fost pomeniti Bookblog, Catastif, Luciat, Lecturi) si alte recomandari de site-uri si bloguri (Movieblog, Feeder, Grafic.lucianmarin.ro, supliment.polirom.ro, calator.eu).

Recomandare!
Azi am luat Campaign, numarul din martie 2007. Aviz celor interesati de publicitate: Cover story: “Advertiserii anului - Topul celor mai mari clienti de publicitate din Romania la momentul adevarului” – avem top investitii branduri, top investitii pe categorii de produse si cei mai mari investitori in publicitate. Interesant, interesant!

Introducere: Imaginati-va in fata computerului, asa cum stati acum (sau cititi de pe telefon?), mistuiti de o curiozitate arzatoare. Vreti sa aflati daca exista sau nu OZN-uri, sa zicem.

Va framantati mainile, va concentrati, sunati un prieten, rasfoiti o enciclopedie – totul fara rezultat.

Aici intervine, ca un supererou, motorul de cautare Google. Asadar tastati cuvantul sau cuvintele si asteptati cu ochii mari in fata monitorului sa apara raspunsul la marea voastra nelamurire. Din lista de rezultate ale cautarii google, alegeti un link si apasati febril pe butonul mouse-ului in dreptul sau.

Raspunsul la intrebarea voastra? N-ai sa vezi! Dezamagire, dezamagire, de trei ori dezamagire!

Google te-a trimis pe un site unde este intamplator amintit cuvantul despre care vrei lamuriri, extraterestru in acest caz, dar nu este o pagina dedicata lui.  Ce ingrozitor! Dar vai, incredibil, poti sa lasi comentarii! Singura solutie pe care o vezi la acesta tragedie este sa ii transmiti autorului sau autoarei paginii ca esti scarbit sau scarbita de inducerea in eroare.

Sa intram in paine: Asta ne aduce la comentariile pe care le primesc la postul cu numele fantome. Este un post care a capatat o viata proprie. Se dezvolta independent de vointa mea, google il alimenteaza cu vizitatori tampitei ce folosesc si o ortografie aparte.

Daca aveti rabdare sa cititi textul, ceea ca observ ca nu mai e la moda de ceva timp, aflati ca eu povestesc cum imi placea sa imi imaginez ca in casa in care locuiam erau fantome ca in filmul “The Others”. Asa imi petreceam eu minutele de nesomn cauzate de faptul ca prin peretii subtiri ai blocului treceau toate sunetele, oricat de slabe. Am atasat la post si o poza din Helsinki, in spiritul atmosferei din text, ziceam eu. Dar nu e Casper in poza, spre dezamagirea unora, ci doar niste patinatori in Helsinki, de Craciun.

Sa vedem deci ce imi spun din cand in cand cei aterizati prin Google pe pagina aia, cautand informatii despre fantome. Nu-i asa ca sunt adorabile ortografia si expresiile de tip “esti praf”? Spicuim, spicuim.

1. Bianca March 18th, 2007 2:13 pm

   da…si vrei sa spui ca umbra aia e o fantoma?? asa se vede un obiect surprins in iscare…sau sunt singura care gandeste coerent in urma cuvintelor tale “infioratoare”? Si toata povestea asta nu mi se pare decat o insiruire de asemanari intre ideile tale si niste chestii petrecute in filme horror..am vazut si eu filmele..:D:D:D

2. taly March 25th, 2007 9:11 pm 

   Am 12 ani si mie tare frica de asemenea intaplari noaptea se misca unele lucruri pe perete. prima oara am crezut c amie prea somn da pana la urma se auzeau si zgomote!!!!!!!!!dar lasati asta da in casa vecina o fata plutea in camera ei de necrezut poate ma creeti nebuna nu stiu oricum asta e doar nom murii:))

3. eu si numai eu April 3rd, 2007 10:37 am

   fantome? aia din poza s-ar spune ca e o fantoma? si ce-ar cauta pe patinoar? ca sa patineze si ea poate…:)) nu zic ca nu cred in fantome…din contra…dar totusi…a trecut un bezmetic prin fata aparatului (fiind f rapid, desigur) tu l-ai prins in cadru si…gata poza;)!

4. isabelle April 8th, 2007 6:10 pm

   chiar nu e o fantoma e asa o vrajeala . nu zic ca nu cred in fantome chiar cred dar asta ….. asta e o mare vrajeala cu V mare

5. cortez-xxx May 10th, 2007 8:49 pm Edit This

   bha firial dreq … pe cine mintzi mah k umbra aia e fantoma ? ) … ala e toata ziua shi toata noaptea un om kre patineaza … ce dreq … itzi batzi joc de lume ….. fi serios dreq .. )

6. isabelle May 25th, 2007 7:59 pm

   da chiar asa ce va bateti joc de noi:)

7. Darius June 14th, 2007 7:57 pm

   a pozat cand sau miscat repede… mare scofala Fanto.me pe dreq

8. adina June 17th, 2007 3:11 pm

   hai frate k se mai intampla sa iasa o poza asa..ce draq ca se vede clar ca era cineva pe patine…venea fantoma sa patineze:)))

9. serena June 24th, 2007 12:21 pm

   eu nus tiu ce la cred poate da poate nu cert este lucrul ca se poate explica usor aceasta umbra

10. danutza July 8th, 2007 12:37 pm

    am vazut o groaza de poze q fantome…asta e cea mai jalnik.La tehnolocia din zilele noastre …iar povestioara..exista o mie de explicatii ptr ce aude el..

11. grig July 14th, 2007 6:24 pm

    io am kopilarit q fantomele;))…dar nu am vazut nici una kare sa arate asa…din kate imi aduk io aminte…pretenii mei erau mai stravezii:))

12. dana July 27th, 2007 8:08 pm

    hai ca esty praf cu textu’ ai prea multa imaginatie. nu te mai uita asa mult la filme de groaza ca o s-o iei razna rau de tot dar cat despre poza………e si ea una nereusita mare filozofie…….faci o poza in miscare cred ca si yoo as face una mai reusita ca asta…….fantome…….pe patinoar…….hai ca e tare cheastia……….sper ca nu a luat o busitura si a facut bubitza fantoma………….=))=))

Distractia continua!