The cheering up worked
Thank you very much. For the comments and the emails and the phone calls. You helped me so much.
I mean, what can you do when you’re feeling miserable? Well, I say: think about it, cry if you feel like it, mourn and then do something about it. Yesterday I ran to school. Got there in 15 minutes. It felt wonderful. I must’ve looked like Forrest Gump.
Today I tried to keep myself busy and not think about it too much. Work makes us forget about ourselves a little. And if you’re hurt, that helps. If you’re happy, it sucks: because you don’t want to lose for a second your enthusiasm. But I was hurt and sad. So it worked. It wasn’t easy, especially because I couldn’t sleep last night. At all. It was one of the longest and saddest nights of my life. But I got out of bed in the morning. I was still alive.
The last thing I thought I’d say about a day that started like that was that I would want to be invisible. But today, a girl told me at school that she recognized me from the pictures on this blog and that she reads it constantly. But when you have dark circles under your eyes from the insomnia and the crying and you’re dressed like color blind sporty spice you just want to get through the day without answering too many questions, alright? But the girl was nice and sweet and I hope she got the grant she applied for. Hope to see her again soon.
And the cheering up emails and phone calls won’t stop. I have a lot of reasons to be happy about. Thank you. I’m fine. But – baby steps – it’ll take a while before I’m back on my feet 100 percent.
14 Comments so far
Leave a reply
stiu foarte bine cum te smti. Va veni si vremea in care vei pierde o noapte doar pentru ca esti prea fericita.
I also broke up with a guy yesterday. It doesn’t hurt 10% as much as you probably though.
But it was not *the* guy. He is 600km away. We broke because of distance. That hurt continuously.
*hugs*
I liked this line from the entry :”But I got out of bed in the morning. I was still alive.” How very true: when you feel the way you feel (I know, been there, felt that) you assume that you are going to die or something. So when you realize you are still breathing it comes as a shock first, but you get used to the idea that sorrow or sadness is not going to kill you. So the next time you, or anyone else reading this feels like not only they died, but they were burried and rotted away, punch a wall or kick a chair: if it hurts, you are still alive.
I also found out that running really helps when you find yourself invaded with thoughts. I don’t know why, but when i run i feel really free and calm.
Guess Forest was right after all. 
sorryy
glad 2 hear u r feeling better
go out, try to have ‘fun’, keep yourself busy, maybe go to the seaside..1st of may partyes
take care
A.
De ce nu mai scrii in romana?
Baby steps, ok?
Hope you feel better.
I know exactly what you’re going through
I’m with you, with kind words & beyond them.
Baby steps, beautiful writer, you’ll be fine soon…
intamplator, intr-o imprejurare similara si eu scriam in engleza. cred ca ajuta: te obiectivezi intr-un fel. un profesor in facultate ne spunea ca toti (cei care gandesc in doua limbi) sunt shizofrenici. ma rog, explicatia e mai lunga dar are dreptate.
anyways, take it from someone who’s been there more times than she cares to remember: it’ll go away.
baby steps will get you there.
This thing with English is so, so true. I write in English also when I have something special to say.
Your mention regarding running made me remember a line from “What women want”: “Nike. No games. Just sports.” and the whole concept behind it. Girl power! (the power of advertision – it’s unreal)
No offense, but, cheering up emails ? Wtf is wrong with you people ?
Keos,
offence taken. What do you mean? Sending messages to tell someone you have never seen in your live that you care is lame? Maybe there’s something wrong with us. But with you too. We’re all fucked up. So stop pointing fingers at us.
Andressa, you already know we care, no emails need it for that… Anyway, please dont take this too serious, it was more of a joke.
(And yea, we’re all fucked up, i’m the first to admit that.)